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home : readers' blogs : in the water
June 14, 2021

In The Water
By Phreddie Phenol
Environmental Tips from Everybody's Favorite Pollutant
Sunday, June 21, 2009

Bonner Made Me Do This

 By Phreddie Phenol

This is where I grew up.

I am writing this blog against my will.

I've been in a state of peaceful hibernation for damn near twenty years, then all of a sudden, Bonner "resurrects" me for his own selfish purposes. You might as well know folks, I ain't happy about it.

I need to tread very carefully here, because I don't want to be guilty of malicious or libelous statements in my very first blog. That would just be flat-out wrong. And if I did write something defamatory, it's highly unlikely that Bonner would even publish my blog on his website. Not that I really give a crap because, as you know, I'm being forced to write this.

Anyway, despite the fact that Bonner tries to portray himself as an environmentalist, I know for certain that the only thing he recycles are his stupid cartoons.

So, here I am, a modern-day Rip Van Phenol, charged with the awesome responsibility of writing an article in order to show you an example of a blog on Bonner's new website. Hell, I don't even like to write. Although I did kinda jot down a little poem for you. I mean, it's not very good, you know, I was just, like, playing around... but anyway, here it is:

Noses are red

Pickles are green

I ain't obsolete

I've just been unseen

What did you think of that? Did you like it? Why not use the comment form below and send a critique? By the way, my history is posted elsewhere on this site, but in case you missed it, I'm a local! I was born on the north end of town, up by the river. I've included a picture of where I grew up.

Actually, writing this bloggie thing has been kind of fun. Maybe you should give it a try. Meanwhile, I'm going to take a little nap and see if I can dream up some new topics. Perhaps I'll do this again sometime. 'Bye for now!

Your phriend phorever,

Phreddie


Reader Comments

Posted: Monday, May 26, 2008
Article comment by: Jill

My comment is for J. Hall's comment: Didn't you know that the high-quality bottled water is from the same pool of water on the North side of town that Phreddie calls home?

Posted: Sunday, April 27, 2008
Article comment by: J. Hall

Phreddie, I had heard rumors that you migrated up to Lake Michigan, not far offshore from Chi-town. Glad to have you back! Especially since I now drink high-quality bottled water only. Jim

Posted: Friday, April 25, 2008
Article comment by: Uncle Benzene

Phreddie? Is it really you!? I thought the super-chlorination treatments got rid of you years ago! You can imagine my surprise when I read your new blog. Maybe we can get together sometime and wreak havoc on the unsuspecting masses. Uncle Ben



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