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June 14, 2021

In The Water
By Phreddie Phenol
Environmental Tips from Everybody's Favorite Pollutant
Sunday, June 21, 2009

Bonner Made Me Do This

 By Phreddie Phenol

This is where I grew up.

I am writing this blog against my will.

I've been in a state of peaceful hibernation for damn near twenty years, then all of a sudden, Bonner "resurrects" me for his own selfish purposes. You might as well know folks, I ain't happy about it.

I need to tread very carefully here, because I don't want to be guilty of malicious or libelous statements in my very first blog. That would just be flat-out wrong. And if I did write something defamatory, it's highly unlikely that Bonner would even publish my blog on his website. Not that I really give a crap because, as you know, I'm being forced to write this.

Anyway, despite the fact that Bonner tries to portray himself as an environmentalist, I know for certain that the only thing he recycles are his stupid cartoons.

So, here I am, a modern-day Rip Van Phenol, charged with the awesome responsibility of writing an article in order to show you an example of a blog on Bonner's new website. Hell, I don't even like to write. Although I did kinda jot down a little poem for you. I mean, it's not very good, you know, I was just, like, playing around... but anyway, here it is:

Noses are red

Pickles are green

I ain't obsolete

I've just been unseen

What did you think of that? Did you like it? Why not use the comment form below and send a critique? By the way, my history is posted elsewhere on this site, but in case you missed it, I'm a local! I was born on the north end of town, up by the river. I've included a picture of where I grew up.

Actually, writing this bloggie thing has been kind of fun. Maybe you should give it a try. Meanwhile, I'm going to take a little nap and see if I can dream up some new topics. Perhaps I'll do this again sometime. 'Bye for now!

Your phriend phorever,


Reader Comments

Posted: Monday, May 26, 2008
Article comment by: Jill

My comment is for J. Hall's comment: Didn't you know that the high-quality bottled water is from the same pool of water on the North side of town that Phreddie calls home?

Posted: Sunday, April 27, 2008
Article comment by: J. Hall

Phreddie, I had heard rumors that you migrated up to Lake Michigan, not far offshore from Chi-town. Glad to have you back! Especially since I now drink high-quality bottled water only. Jim

Posted: Friday, April 25, 2008
Article comment by: Uncle Benzene

Phreddie? Is it really you!? I thought the super-chlorination treatments got rid of you years ago! You can imagine my surprise when I read your new blog. Maybe we can get together sometime and wreak havoc on the unsuspecting masses. Uncle Ben

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