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January 23, 2019

7/20/2008 7:22:00 PM
Intelliplex? Problems Solved!

Dee Bonner


The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the primary investigatory arm of the United States Department of Justice. The FBI serves as both a federal crime investigative body and a domestic intelligence agency. The FBI has 56 Field Offices located in cities throughout the United States.

Perhaps you are wondering why I am sharing this information with you.

Well, the reason is, I have a win-win proposal that just might significantly benefit Shelby County's economic development efforts. I'll explain.

But first, let me refresh your memory. Do you recall about nine months ago when the Indiana Economic Development Corporation(IEDC) expressed dissatisfaction with the lack of high-tech job creation at Intelliplex, Shelbyville's semi-certified technology park?

As a result, the IEDC saddled Intelliplex with a list of seven demands and gave park developers two years to comply. The most daunting of those demands were the requirements to construct a new research building and to attract at least 50 new full-time high-tech jobs.

Okay, stay with me on this.

According to the FBI website, the agency's current top priorities are:

Counterterrorism

Counterintelligence

Cyber Crime

Public Corruption

Civil Rights

White-Collar Crime

Organized Crime

Major Thefts/Violent Crimes

Wow! Sounds pretty high-tech to me! In addition, the FBI performs research, right? So, all we need to do is convince the United States government to construct a new building at Intelliplex in order to locate a Federal Bureau of Investigations Field Office right here in Shelbyville!

Perhaps Intelliplex Park should zip off an e-mail to the Department of Justice right now in order to get this proposal moving. Surely there's someone out there who has prior experience in composing persuasive letters.

An FBI Field Office in Shelbyville aligns perfectly with the agency's stated priorities. Think about it. We have a gambling casino that's projecting 3 million annual visitors. We have a nearby interstate that's clogged every day with vehicles that could be hauling drugs, stolen goods, terrorists, illegals, dirty bombs, toxic tomatoes, you name it.

Plus, it's not as if the FBI is totally unfamiliar with our town. After all, FBI agents spend plenty of time down here. Just think of all the gas money the agency could save if their investigators didn't have to commute regularly from Indianapolis to Shelbyville.



Reader Comments

Posted: Monday, July 21, 2008
Article comment by: Alfred E. Neuman

Great idea, Dee! The FBI could save gasoline money in the long run, because I'm sure they could find a lot to investigate within a short driving distance.



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