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February 23, 2020

Inception Deception
(A Movie Review?)
Fully illustrated version available! Click Here to View All 12 Pages!
Fully illustrated version available! Click Here to View All 12 Pages!
I went to the local theater to see the summer's current blockbuster movie.

"Inception" is a crime caper film with lots of Hollywood special effects. The plot involves dreams... within dreams... within dreams. It's complicated. Watching the movie was like peeling an onion... and finding an onion... inside an onion.

The movie required constant concentration from the theater audience. Despite that, it was eerily entertaining. It was also eerily entertaining that I went to see a huge blockbuster movie and was the only person in the theater!

After the movie, I stopped at a grocery store to buy a head of lettuce. I couldn't help but notice that even though I was surrounded by hundreds of fruits and vegetables, I was the only person in the produce department.

The store had a large selection of wines on display. "Wine would taste good with my salad," I thought to myself. Then I asked myself, "What kind of wine shall I buy?" Then I answered myself, "I like red wine." Then I replied to myself, "Yes, I am fully aware of your quirky personal preferences!" Then I thought to myself, "Am I experiencing thoughts...? Within thoughts...? Within thoughts...? Within thoughts... ?"

I spotted a bottle of red wine. I picked it up. It occurred to me that the wine was in a bottle. And the bottle was in my hand. Weird. I studied the label. The label informed me that the wine had been produced on an estate... the estate was in a region... and the region was in a country. What the Hell!?

I held the bottle of wine up to the light and instantly recognized myself staring back. Was that ACTUALLY ME in the wine, which was inside the bottle, that I was holding in my hand? Or, was it merely a reflection of my likeness? You know, like a mirror. Then I wondered how a reflection can really exist if it's only a semblance of something? I immediately returned the bottle to the shelf, even though the wine was on sale for $6.99. The distorted image reflection triggered a horrifying flood of personal memories.

I was catapulted into a dizzying series of swirling flashbacks.

I am in my kitchen. I offer a friend a drink. The friend says, "Do you have any wine?" I triumphantly retrieve a bottle of red wine from my fridge. The bottle is half full. As I unscrew the cap, she says, "Eeeyew! You keep your wine in the REFRIGERATOR!?" Since then, our friendship has slowly disintegrated. I wonder if it's due to my poor taste in wine. I also wonder if my poor taste in wine is the reason I attend so many movies alone. Later, I am home mixing a salad for dinner. I open the refrigerator door and spy a half-full bottle of wine. Affixed to the bottle is a price tag. The price is $6.99. Weird.

After dinner, I sip from a glass of filtered tap water and attempt to make sense of the day's events. I feel fortunate that the sudden flood of memories in the grocery store prevented me from buying a bottle of wine because everyone knows ingestion of alcohol is a major cause of dandruff.

Dandruff. Funny word.

As a matter of fact, longtime fans may recall that dandruff was a key humor device used at the inception of my very first, ill-fated comic strip, "The Unfunny Adventures of Dan Druff and His One-Eyed Cat Flaky", which debuted way back in 1980. Remember?

Most of the "Dan Druff" cartoons were destroyed during the Cartoon Inquisition of 1988-89. However, my mind recently traveled through a wormhole where I discovered an abandoned elevator shaft. At the bottom of the shaft, I found a handful of original "Dan Druff" cartoon panels. If I publish those cartoons on this website and nobody thinks they are funny, will that prove they exist?

Oh, One more thing! If you've seen "Inception" and understand what was happening onscreen, would you mind forwarding a note and explain the movie to me?

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