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home : news & opinion : news & opinion
June 20, 2018

Welcome To Skunkville
"You smell that? Do you smell that? NAPALM, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I LOVE the smell of napalm in the morning... Smells like... VICTORY. (Lt. Col. William "Bill" Kilgore - Apocalypse Now).

"You smell that? Do you smell that? SKUNK, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I HATE the smell of skunk in the evening... Smells like... ROTTEN EGGS. Only a hundred times WORSE!" (Anonymous resident - City of Shelbyville).

Have YOU ever smelled a skunk? If not, you will soon, because winter is behind us and spring is just around the corner. So are the skunks. They're coming out of their winter dens at about the same time we're emerging from our winter cabins. So our paths are bound to cross again this spring. And summer. And fall.

During the past couple of years, Shelbyville's skunk population has grown significantly. Lots of residents have experienced "skunk encounters." In fact, it's difficult to find someone who doesn't have a skunk story to share. Most people say the smell of skunk is indescribable... then they proceed to offer descriptions. For example:

"Skunk smells like an electrical fire, only worse!"

"Skunk smells like a rotting animal carcass, only ten times worse!"

"Skunk smells like burning rubber, only a hundred times worse!"

Personally, I think a skunk smells a tad bit better than a Heineken. But you get the idea, skunks smell really, really bad! So let's do this: the next time you get sprayed by a skunk (and trust me, you WILL get sprayed by a skunk this year!), send me an email and describe the experience. Or, if past encounters are still vividly burned into your memory, you can share that, too.

Here's a couple of other things you can do.

File A Report!

Active Skunk Watch Patrols have been organized in several city neighborhoods. Betcha didn't know that, did ya? When you experience an encounter with a skunk, you can report the event to your Skunk Watch Area Commander. To see a sample of the Official Skunk Report Form, Click This Link.

The Other Thing!

I probably should explain that the city probably won't be helping you with the current skunk infestation in Shelbyville. We had a similar situation six years ago but a number of citizens got upset with the city's solution to the problem. As a consequence, city elected officials find it easier to simply ignore the critter crisis. So, here's the other thing you can do: Follow This Link! to see how the city handled the problem in 2004.



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Posted: Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Article comment by: Prudence Prigg

Shame on you for putting that filthy sex video on your web site.



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