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November 12, 2018

3/16/2009 1:28:00 AM
I Owe You An Apology... Or Two

Dee Bonner


I owe you an apology.

I fully intended to write an article today but it looks as if I'm going to pull the same stunt that I pulled last week when I pretended not to write an article but wrote one anyway.

The main reason I used that lame ploy last weekend was to allow me to recycle some previously published artwork rather than take the time to create new cartoons. My particular dilemma last week was not artist's block.

It was mental gridlock.

There were just too many potential cartoon ideas from which to choose. As a consequence, I ran out of time and It simply became less of a chore to colorize some earlier cartoons rather than draw brand new ones.

Anyway, that experiment turned out alright since some of you apparently appreciate seeing the older cartoons. Also, several readers enjoyed last week's article enough that they were motivated to forward comments and send e-mails. So thank you for that.

But that brings me to tonight because I have a similar predicament. Therefore I'm going to recycle a couple of previously published cartoons in order to get the new week rolling.

However the reason I'm forced to do this again is not mental gridlock.

It's a different kind of gridlock.

You see, I'm writing this article from the new Indiana Live! Casino.

Well, technically, I'm writing it near the casino.

Okay, the truth is, I'm waiting in line outside the casino.

I've been in line for about 51 hours now.

I arrived at the casino Friday evening at about 7:30 p.m. and I was fortunate that my drive from Shelbyville only took two hours. Many people standing in line with me tonight claim that it took them over six hours to get here from Indianapolis.

I found a parking space in the gravel lot adjacent to the former temporary casino and rode a shuttle bus over here. That only took an additional hour, therefore I've been in line since 8:30 p.m. Friday.

It was really cold out here Friday night, the temperature dipped below freezing. Saturday night wasn't quite as cold. Today's sunshine helped considerably and we're hoping the temperature will stay in the high thirties tonight. Low forties would be great!

I've made lots of new friends. It's interesting how people manage to come together when they are faced with difficult circumstances isn't it? For instance, I witnessed some hands-on "Hoosier Hospitality" in action last night when a half-dozen young ladies who live at the neighboring truck stop across the road came over. They paraded up and down the line and offered to cuddle up with some of the fellas in order to help keep them warm for a little while.

I'd estimate there's about three thousand of us standing out here in line. For the most part, folks are being very patient and taking the long hours in stride. Many of the people I've talked to say it's worth the wait because they are absolutely certain they'll win thousands of dollars once they get inside the casino.

On Saturday we passed time by playing some games of chance. A few of us started playing "Rock-Paper-Scissors". It didn't take long for a crowd to assemble and people started betting on the outcome. Then somebody manufactured a deck of playing cards out of a bunch of old McDonald hamburger wrappers and a group of guys began a Texas Hold'em Tournament. Before too long, nearly everybody in line was flipping coins and betting on heads or tails. One guy even found some smooth pebbles and fashioned them into six-sided, pipped dice and launched several crap games, much to the delight of the hard-core gamblers in the crowd. The gals from the truck stop returned and tried to organize a cockfight and there were several guys hawking pull tabs and tip boards.

Then we got raided.

Apparently gambling is illegal in Indiana. Unless you are a casino, or a horse track, or a qualified charity, that is. But the cops were compassionate, they let us off with a stern warning.

Just so you know, I didn't come here to gamble. I came to see the celebrities. I wanted to see a stilt walker. Or maybe one of those leggy, Las Vegas showgirls with the big jeweled, feathered headdresses. Or even, Justin Timberlake. Incidentally, there was a rumor going around that Timberlake was standing outside in line with us most of Friday night but I think that was a false rumor. I'm sure he was inside with the VIP's. Anyway, I imagine all the celebrities will be long gone by the time I get inside.

The line should start moving early Monday morning. I'm hopeful that some of the people who have been hogging the slot machines all weekend will need to get out of there and go to work. And surely the rest of them will run out of pennies and nickels soon.

As for me, I can't turn back now. I've waited in line way too long. Now I just want to get inside while the restaurants are still serving breakfast.



Reader Comments

Posted: Thursday, March 19, 2009
Article comment by: A Shelbykentuckian (Git 'er Done!)

Dee Bonner,

Your cartoon panel featuring the missing Indiana Live celebrities and Mayor MacPizza made my day!

On The Star's website, people were making fun of our Shelbyville mayor for his statements about the Indana Live no-show couple.

Just one more very public contribution to the growing public opinion in the Indianapolis area that Shelbyville is the land of Gomer Pyles and Boss Hoggs.

So what do you think? Another set of taxpayer-funded meetings by the local big shots to talk about how Shelbyville can improve its image?

I can save us taxpayers some money. No Image Meetings are necessary: Just bring in a new mayor and some new city council members.


Posted: Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Article comment by: Johnny Stash

An Indianapolis TV station reported late last night that Indiana Live has announced a celebrity event for this coming Friday.

Abraham Lincoln has accepted an RSVP to attend a special 200th birthday party in his honor.

Las Vegas showgirls are being flown in to present him a birthday cake decorated with the message: "Happy birthday, Abey baby!"

Lincoln will do a ceremonial "re-grand-opening" using an axe to break the ribbon. He will then recite the Gettysburg Address replacing every reference to "nation" in the original version with the word "racino."

Back-ups on the interstate are expected to begin in Minneapolis.

Meanwhile, Dee Bonner is STILL waiting in line to get into last weekend's grand opening.......


Posted: Monday, March 16, 2009
Article comment by: Living Small in Little Las Vegas

Dee,

Someone commenting at the bottom of an article on The Star website speculated that the two celebrities didn't show up once they found out they would be greeted by "Shelbykentuckians" wearing John Deere caps and t-shirts cut off at the belly.

Another guy speculated that this celebrity announcement was only a ploy by Casino management to get more people in.
Imagine someone thinking something like that!?

Me? Well, I think it was just an honest mistake. Jason - not Justin - Timberlake was the celebrity who was supposed to attend but who didn't show up. Jason works at PK USA - or at least he did until he got laid off last week.

Our local state representative proclaimed that the Casino is the best thing to happen to Shelbyville since Ronald Reagan came to town back in the 1950s for the old corn festival.

Do you think there might be any chance our state rep has a job lined up as a gambling lobbyist in a few years? This is what our previous state rep did and so our local state rep job seems to be an entry level position.




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