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home : news & opinion : news & opinion
June 19, 2018

1/25/2009 3:22:00 PM
An Old Guy Stumbles Into A Bar

Dee Bonner


An old guy wearing a crimson IU sweatshirt stumbles into a bar. The guy's carrying an aging, silver-grey schnauzer. The schnauzer is also wearing a crimson IU sweatshirt.

The guy says to the bartender, "Do you mind if my dog and I watch the IU basketball game here? My cable's been disconnected, and he likes to watch IU games with me."

The bartender replies, "Normally, dogs aren't allowed in the bar, but it's not very busy tonight, so you and the mutt can sit at the end of the bar. But, if anyone complains, you'll have to leave."

The guy agrees, so he and the dog start watching the game. After four consecutive turnovers and seven missed field goal attempts, IU finally manages to score on a sloppy offensive rebound. The excited schnauzer jumps onto the bar, barks three times, performs a backward somersault then scampers up to the bartender, stands erect on his hind legs and slaps the bartender with a high-five.

The bartender says, "Wow! That's pretty cool! What's he do when IU WINS a game!?"

The guy answers, "I don't know. I've only had him since the first week of December!"

Okay. Okay. Okay. I know. They're a young team. They're getting better every game. They didn't give up. And Minnesota is ranked, what? 20th? 21st in some polls? So what if IU hasn't won a game since December 10th last year!? Truth be told, I kinda enjoyed today's game. It was close. Fun to watch. Gave me hope. I like Coach Crean. They'll be fine. Maybe next year. It's just not pleasant seeing my team in the cellar. After all, I'm an alum, that should entitle me to an occasional rant, don't you think?



Reader Comments

Posted: Monday, January 26, 2009
Article comment by: Jim Hall

Well Dee, I suggest a remedy for your angst about IU: For a couple of years, switch over your allegiance to the Butler Bulldogs. My wife is a Butler alum and, since I paid for most of her tuition, I feel connected, too.

AND....since they screwed up the high school basketball tournament several years ago by creating the class system - Butler is a great "little guy" to pull for against the colleges with 40,000 enrollments.

As opposed to most of the college powerhouses in basketball and football, Butler's athletes actually do attend classes.

I like IU's Crean, too, and I think he is going to put together a solid program (with athletes actually attending classes and avoiding reefer parties).

But still, my mantra is "Go Bulldogs!"




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