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December 12, 2018

1/9/2009 12:42:00 AM
Accidental Stories

Dee Bonner


Story No. 1 - A "Sign From God" Traffic Accident

A priest rear-ends a rabbi at a traffic light. Both of their cars are damaged, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. As they exit their cars to survey the damage, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. What a coincidence, I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. They are damaged, but we are not injured. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This certainly must be a sign from God."

The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle! My car is severely damaged but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break! Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune and newfound friendship."

The rabbi opens the bottle and hands it to the priest. The priest takes a few big gulps, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately replaces the cap, and hands the bottle back to the priest.

The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi says, "Nawww...I think I'll wait for the police."

Story No. 2 - A Slow-moving Traffic Accident

A snail was tediously creeping down the street when he was rear-ended by a tortoise. A policeman responded to the accident and asked the snail what happened. "I don't know," replied the snail, "It all happened so fast!"

Story No. 3 - A Bodily Injury Accident?

Several cars are stopped at a red traffic light. When the light changes to green, the second car in line accelerates and rear-ends the car in front of it. A police car arrives at the scene. A policeman jumps from the patrol car and rushes to the driver of the second vehicle. The officer asks the driver, "Are you hurt!?"

"I don't know!" responds the driver. "I'm not a lawyer!"

Story No. 4 - A Local Traffic Accident - Monday, January 5, 2009

11:48 a.m., 530 E. Broadway Street, Shelbyville, IN - According to physical evidence, vehicles operated by Scott A. Furgeson, 44, and Homer R. Moore, 40, collided when both vehicles were westbound on Broadway Street and stopped at a red light at the Vine Street intersection. Furgeson started in traffic and the front end of his vehicle hit the rear of the Moore vehicle, which hadn't yet started in traffic. There was minor damage to the front bumper of Furgeson's vehicle and apparently no damage to Moore's vehicle. Total damage estimate for the accident was less than $1,000, so no state report was required and it was logged as a local accident only.



Reader Comments

Posted: Thursday, January 29, 2009
Article comment by: Kathy Kelley

I was wondering if I was the only one who spotted this Furgeson's Folly! Welcome to Shelbyville where the Mayor gets anything he wants! Including a church!



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